Grappling with Goodness




What is goodness anyway?


It seems to be a rather vague term. A quick look in the dictionary and we see a definition: “the quality of being morally good or virtuous.”  That helps and yet can still appear to be general. Perhaps that is because the context in which it is used gives more clarity.


God’s goodness is connected with his faithfulness and love demonstrated through grace. And grace is the manifestation of God’s goodness. He extends love and relationship to us before we ever choose Him because He has already chosen us. That blows our mind away…or should!


We see the evidences of God’s goodness played out in the Father’s embrace in the story of The Prodigal Son. Such goodness displayed in authentic love has great power to bring about change in any one of us who is blessed to receive it.


What’s puzzling is how often we find such goodness uncomfortable. apple-apple-tree-branch-52517


The broken chaotic lonely life we have been living may be miserable, but at least it is something we know. Accepting goodness results in our relinquishing control and experiencing vulnerability. Both of those create fear.


Andrew J. Bauman puts this in focus in his new book, Stumbling Toward Wholeness:


“Goodness produces hope and desire, which feel entirely too susceptible to heartbreak, so we cling to control because we are convinced the goodness won’t last.”


 We cannot conceive that God actually would delight in us.


“Most of us were taught that God would love us if and when we change.” 

Richard Rohr


That kind of “love” we understand better. It is what we have experienced over and over again in many of our relationships from childhood onward. We have missed the point Rohr later makes:


“In fact, God loves you so that you can change.”


adult-affection-baby-236164 That resonates strongly with me. In my years of counseling others, I listened to heartbreaking stories that brought tears to my eyes while the one speaking reported the story to me as if reading a news item. Their pain had been so great that they shut off the feeling and emotion of their own story. My therapeutic skills and academic training would result in little progress unless I first could be a channel of God’s love for them.


Authentic love allows us to be who we truly are with someone without fear.


“Goodness and beauty always reveal what is truest in our hearts.

 Surrendering to love is a sacred act of opening our hands, loosening control, and trusting in a God we cannot see.”  

Andrew J. Bauman


Goodness expressed in authentic love and grace helps us look at ourselves as we truly cliff-daylight-environment-451817are and accept the truth of that, also knowing the truth that God knew that about us all along. That is what makes all the difference. We can sigh deeply and let go of everything weighing us down with an assurance we will not be rejected. Then we can face the hard work changing the lies and habits that have bound us.


Only when the source of our love is His goodness in our own lives can we offer ourselves to be a conduit of goodness to anyone else.


“Guidance, like all God’s acts of blessing under the covenant of grace, is a sovereign act. Not merely does God will to guide us in the sense of showing us his way, that we may tread it; he wills also to guide us in the more fundamental sense of ensuring that, whatever happens, whatever mistakes we may make, we shall come safely home. Slippings and strayings there will be, no doubt, but the everlasting arms are beneath us; we shall be caught, rescued, restored. This is God’s promise; this is how good he is.”

 J.I. Packer in Knowing God


“So we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together to fit into God’s perfect plan of bringing good into our lives, for we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill his designed purpose.”

 Romans 8:28 (TPT)





17 thoughts on “Grappling with Goodness

  1. Thank you Pam for linking up with us at the #BloggingGrandmothers End of the Year Link Party 2018! Party ends January 5, links are unlimited so feel free to add more!

  2. Pam, thank you for this post. If we could just grasp this concept always! Even as mature Christians, its sometimes hard to understand God’s love for us. “We cannot conceive that God actually would delight in us.” is absolutely the truth! God would delight in me? IN ME? What an amazing God we serve! Knowing , really knowing, God delights in us is the key to relationship with Him. Great post! Great reminder! Thank you again.

  3. Pam, what powerful truths! The fact that God’s goodness makes us feel hopeful and vulnerable at the same time and that we find our attempts at control more manageable are eye opening. Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Blessings!

    1. Thanks so much, Donna! I know….it is pretty amazing! There is so much that we do not fully comprehend or take in about Him even after years and years….our finite minds cannot take in all of who He is! We did have a great Thanksgiving. Traveled 8 days. Went to see our daughter and her family early and celebrated our youngest granddaughter’s 16th birthday and then after Thanksgiving went to see our closest friends who have moved to another state. We wanted to catch up with them as we had not seen them since last October. Hope you are well and enjoying retirement!💝

  4. Hi Pam,
    Yes I agree, therapy can only go so far…it’s God’s love that goes above & beyond to heal the deepest wounds that may be invisible to those bearing them…we are but vessels for His outpouring of love to others.

    1. Hi Jennifer! Great to hear from you! The past few weeks have been incredibly busy and I have not had a chance to catch up with you or your blog posts….traveling until next week mid-week so will look forward to that when I get home.

      Thanks for these kind comments and encouraging words.


  5. Thank you for sharing this lovely post at The Really Crafty Link Party this week. It’s certainly something to think about in more detail, especially this season.

    1. I am so glad this blessed you, Lynn! You are a blessing to me in that comment….affirming whet I sensed from the Lord to write.❤️

  6. I do have a hard time conceiving that God delights in me. Thank you for addressing this. Great post!

  7. This is beautiful and really helps me in my discipline of gratitude during a challenging season. Thank you. Visiting you from the trekking thru link up.

    1. Thanks so much! Not sure if I had responded to this as we were traveling for 8 days over Thanksgiving. 💝

  8. Oh Dear Pam,
    Thank you for this beautiful post. Once again you have encouraged me in my prayers for a loved one who has such a hard time believing that God could love her that deeply. HE is showing her the depth of His love, and I am just a reflection of what He is already bringing to her. May I continue to trust Him more. Blessings to you in this Thanksgiving Week!

    1. Dear Bettie,
      Forgive me if I did not respond to this earlier. we were traveling for 8 days over Thanksgiving and left the morning of Nov. 20 and I have been sorting myself out along with tons of mail and catalogs since our return.

      Your words made my heart smile with gratefulness that my words encouraged you.

      Have a blessed week ahead!💝

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