Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

Could it be that we are born with an inward drive to be always leaning forward in life? We keep moving toward the next thing, the next developmental task, the next goal with our eyes aiming toward what is ahead. There are those innate things like sitting up, creeping, crawling and more that occupy the first months of our life but then it seems something inside of us is triggered to want to move into the next thing. We want to stand, walk, run, and do what everyone else in the world we see is doing.

We start to want to pattern our life so we can ride a bicycle or a skateboard, pop a wheelie, master roller skates and more. It isn’t very long before we are ever looking forward to when we will be able to play an instrument, be good at a sport, be able to drive a car, and the list keeps going as we start counting off what we can do or be when we reach certain ages.

Photo by Sarla’s Eye Photography from Pexels

We barely notice how we are wishing life to speed up until we reach that goal and then move onto the next one. We might not even take time to enjoy the season we are in that we had just wished for before we are off to the next one. Adulthood seems far away and looks like that idyllic time when we will finally be free to do whatever we want, whenever we want.

Days can seem to barely move and then in the blink of an eye we are approaching high school graduation and choices about our future whether it will be a job, a trade, apprenticeship, or college. At the same time our parents’ heads can be dealing with the speed we have traveled from total dependence to desiring total independence without much clue about what that will mean or require of us. Our parents have some experience with that but we’re not sure they know as much as we do now.

Photo by Pam Ecrement

Aging is a funny thing. It happens to all of us and even in adulthood it takes more than a hot minute in our twenties to recognize the limits of life that will catch up to us sooner than we can imagine. Many current generations seem to think they begin adulthood at the same place their parents are in. They haven’t learned about the costs, sacrifices, and experience it will take to get there or what they will need to prioritize to reach those things. Car loans, home loans, long work hours, home improvements in time and money are outside of their realm initially and then can seem unfair when they hoped to work and play and have a life that would be easier than it turns out to be.

Adulthood brings its own strivings for things, promotions, acknowledgement, ideal vacations, and perhaps families of our own. We get caught up in it all barely noticing the gray hairs starting to appear in our parents’ hair or the slowing of our grandparents’ steps. They have always been there and if we are fortunate we won’t know what it is like to not have them to enjoy, gain help from, or see as people beyond their parenthood.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

It happens to all of us. We don’t mean to miss some of the obvious things that will slowly become clearer to us no matter what path we take. Aging and time keep us leaning forward.

At some point in mid life we hit bumps that remind us we aren’t carefree children, eager teens, or idealistic young adults. We don’t all run into the same bumps. For some it may be an unanticipated job loss, for others an accident, and for others a parent who was always there isn’t what they once were. It can be a hard season as we are in multiple transitions at once and can feel spread beyond our capacity. It’s a season where some experience loss and grief for the first time.

Photo by cottonbro studio from Pexels

No matter what the bumps or a glimpse that we would like life now to slow down a bit, it doesn’t. We look ahead and lean forward toward retirement as a time when we can finally have time to do all those things we want to do but haven’t had time or money to do. If we’re observant we notice others just ahead of us who have retired and the path for each is unique. Some are still in good health and living “the good life” on their favorite golf course. Some are pursuing missions they can now volunteer to be part of. Some are helping adult children or caring for grandchildren and others still are dealing with health issues that limit what they can engage in. In many cases life has happened and their choice may not win the vote.

Even as we become senior adults some unidentifiable something is leaning us forward and now we know life is shorter than we once knew. Wisdom may help us value moments rather than a far-off destination we once dreamed of. We pause now more often to cherish those we love and we begin to grapple with what eternity means and might look like.

Whatever the path may be ahead we are always leaning forward. If we have an abiding spiritual life how we view this will be different. We saw it coming long before we truly age. We may only be surprised that it happened as quickly as it did.

Perhaps Maya Angelou gives us a clear perspective about this process:

“Most people don’t grow up. Most people age. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children, and call that maturity. What that is, is aging.”

But my favorite quote is likely one by J.R.R. Tolkien spoken by Gandalf to Frodo in The Fellowship of the Ring:

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that’s been given to us.”

Photo by m. Venter from Pexels