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Most of us have heard the story of Job in the Old Testament. Periodically, we hear references to him and his tragic tale outside our places of worship. He was the one many would have envied because he had it all – large family, land, livestock and a sterling reputation above reproach.

All was going well and then Satan starts a conversation with God about the condition of mankind and God notes the excellent character of Job. Satan claims if God allows everything to be taken from Job that he will fall away like everyone else. God is confident in Job and ultimately says every affliction can be done to him but his life must be spared.

Satan goes to work and in a single day he loses everything he owns and is dear to his heart. He is in misery but doesn’t curse God. 

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Word spreads and soon we meet three of his friends who come to see him in his misery and later a fourth enters the scene. If you were one of Job’s friends and went to see him after all this loss and covered with boils and in pain, how would you respond? 

The responses of his friends are to pose questions about what Job has possibly done, what sin he has committed to result in this tragic set of losses as God’s judgment. They go through scenario after scenario with accusations. They are certain they are right and believe that if Job will repent of what he’s done that all will be restored to him. Hour by hour they persist and Job responds as best he can but says he is not guilty of what they charge.

These friends tell us more about who they are and are not than they do about Job. Do they sound like friends to you?

Every day we have friends who experience loss, challenge, heartache, and more. For many of us, we may find it hard to respond or know how. The result can sometimes be silence and no response or a quick comment like “I’ll be praying for you” or “I’ll be thinking of you.” More often than not we may move on from there. We might tell them to call if they need anything but usually they won’t because they don’t know for certain what they need and will not want to be an imposition.

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Perhaps one thing we can learn from Job’s friends is that asking the Lord what would most bless the person would be the best choice and more so if we are not intimately acquainted with them. The person and the best response will vary and hearing from the Lord will set the right course. Thinking about what we would want in a similar situation might not get us on that course because each of us is unique.

Too often we can be worried about what we ought to say when in the face of tragedy words are often inadequate or even unhelpful at that point. Our presence with them is often enough and letting them share as they wish and simply being a good listener and not trying to “fix” them or have them set aside the raw feelings that may be bubbling inside of them. 

Over the course of my life in the various challenges of loss or accidents or other things I have been blessed by many who had considered the situation and acted. Sometimes it was with soup or a meal. Sometimes it was with handling responsibilities I couldn’t. Sometimes it was being a driver for medical appointments. Sometimes it was going to the store for things I needed or would need. Often it was from persons I would not have expected to be there in such a situation whose sensitivity nudged them to be there for me in ways I might not even have known I needed and usually there were not a lot of words offered but rather hugs along with whatever they were led to do, be, or offer. 

One very easy example which was above and beyond what I could have guessed happened a number of years ago. I was struck by a car as I walked through my work site parking lot, taken by ambulance to a hospital to be checked out and treated. My work supervisor brought my husband to the hospital. The problem was a great deal of pain from soft tissue damage and I was released. The work supervisor took us back to the parking lot where my husband and I each had a car. We left one car there and drove the 30 minutes home but my pain and the situation did not point to how to get the other car home. As we talked about it I thought of a friend who might be able and willing to pick up my husband and take him to get the car. 

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When my husband called her that evening she said she would be glad to pick him up in the morning and take him to his car. The next morning when she arrived she brought us a home cooked roast beef dinner anticipating I would not be up to cooking. Not only was I not hardly mobile but that need had not crossed my mind.

What I saw evidence of in her was a keen sensitivity to consider what would be most helpful. Some years later when my parents had died within three months of each other and I was faced with the enormous task of going through their things one day she called and asked what I was doing. When I told her she offered to bring tea and come be with me as I sat in my parents’ bedroom overwhelmed with sorting through things. She sat with me and when she saw I was clearly overwhelmed she suggested I could sort things by what I thought might be best such as consignment shop, Goodwill, trash, or I don’t know. That helped me get started and she listened to me randomly talk about my parents. It was the sweetest gift and I will never forget that day. Before she left she gathered each pile and then took them with her to take to the designated place.

Job’s friends were not empathic and even if he was guilty they offered self-righteous recommendations that did not show love or care for him. Thankfully he and God had a conversation and a humbled Job was asked to pray for these friends and all was restored.

Each of us has opportunities to bless a friend in need if we will really see them and follow the Lord’s nudge. I don’t want to miss it. It doesn’t come with a list but a sensitive heart and a spirit attuned to the Lord’s voice and heart.

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