What Agreement Did We Make?



Our daily newscasts alert us to agreements or pacts that have been agreed to between countries, companies, or organizations. Many times there is a formal signing event with special pens designated for the agreement, treaty, or pact. In recent history, many pacts or deals were sealed by a handshake instead of a formal ceremony. In those days, your word was your bond and the handshake was the physical demonstration of the agreement. In each case, it represents a promise or commitment to that which has been agreed upon.


Children like to “pinky promise” one another. It is their version of a handshake of old perhaps. A bride and groom pledge promises to one another representing a covenant, an agreement.


There are also unspoken agreements that are made along the way in all of our lives. Some of these we are conscious of and have assented to on some level. Perhaps it is something that was spoken long ago and now continues to be assumed such as a husband agreeing to handle the yard work or the wife agreeing to handle the primary job of cooking.


Beyond these are unconscious agreements we have made and continue to make unknowingly. These are those convictions we have developed or have been raised to believe about life, the Lord, and us. Many of these developed as children or adolescents when we were malleable and believed what we learned was fact without the maturity, discernment or wisdom to know whether they were true or false. For those reasons, it gives fertile ground for the enemy to twist and distort our beliefs. Too often, they shadow us into adulthood without our awareness. If we stumble upon one of them, we assume we are the ones creating these thoughts versus the whispers of the enemy.


Those unconscious subtle agreements work to try to erode the truth and wreak havoc with our thought life and emotions. These then nibble away and erode our relationships, casting doubt and uncertainty where there is no reason for either one.


How does this work?


Perhaps when we were young children our parents were divorced and we did not and could not understand what happened, but we felt abandoned by the parent who moved out of our home. We wondered if it was our fault in some way, if we had obeyed more quickly, been quieter, tried harder, or been more of something we could have still been a family. In the mix of those wounded hearts, a subtle whisper can begin that we are not good enough, don’t deserve a family, will be abandoned by anyone we love.


These beliefs sink under the surface of our minds and hearts and yet, even in adulthood they subtly pop up above the surface. We have a hard time believing we are worthwhile, trusting we are loveable and will not be abandoned when we risk loving. Despite whatever we achieve, we cannot believe in “the possible” for ourselves and sometimes we struggle with what the Lord believes about us even after we become Christians.


I think that is why Paul reminds us in II Corinthians 10 to take every thought captive. It reminds us that we need to take back the truth about who we are, who we are not, and who He is. We often will ask someone else to affirm us in some way and hope that will get rid of the pesky thoughts. Sadly, those words slide off of us as if we were made of Teflon.


It is only when we hear from our Creator the truth that we can receive the positive affirmations of others and own the truth. The truth is that He loved us before, before we knew Him, before we tried to obey Him, and He will never abandon us. His love was NEVER based on whether or not we were good enough or deserved it. NONE of us were or did. It was based on who He was, is, and always will be.


“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psa. 139:14 ESV


Baby eyes










15 thoughts on “What Agreement Did We Make?

  1. I find it so true that with time we lose our connections with the ultimate truths. I wish I could return to childlike faith. I love that image of taking thoughts captive so we can stand on the foundation of God in our lives. Thanks for sharing on the #LMMLinkup last week. 🙂

  2. Reading your words made me think about the conversation I had with my kids today while I was driving them to school. My son was wondering (though he didn’t ask directly) how we can reconcile the Old Testament with the evolutionary view of science. I think it’s a very interesting question for a 10 year old to have and now your post made me think about the messages we receive when we are young and we still lack the discernment to distinguish what is true and what is not and how everything fits in.
    Thank you for joining The Really Crafty Link Party, and have a wonderful weekend!

    1. Thanks, Teresa! The messages are important and I don’t think the Lord would have us fear them, but be more intentionally aware. He is very able to heal and replace those that are not good with truth, but it can be difficult because we have known some of them for so long that we believe THEY are the truth even when they are not. Have a blessed weekend!!

  3. Unspoken agreements- yes, that’s exactly what they are. Great word here today! Taking thoughts captive has been an ongoing battle for me. So much of what burdens my heart begins first in my head. Thanks for this great lesson:)

  4. Powerful insights, as ever, friend.

    For sure, missing these days are those crown jewels of ‘maturity, discernment or wisdom.’ And these can only be found in close relationship to God alone.

    Lord, help us.

  5. We need to take back the truth over and over. We are too easily swayed by the world. May we take back the truth of God and know that is what we need. Blessings!

  6. Thank you for sharing. I’ve had to work through many “unspoken agreements” in my life, where the door was left open for the enemy to torment me. I’ve come a long way, thankfully. I am so grateful for God’s Word which brings life.

  7. Pam, Thanks for sharing this very edifying post!

    I never thought about “unspoken agreements” that become a part of us and how they can end up molding who we become. That can be great if it is of the Lord, but can be very damaging if it is Satan’s lies.

    Thanks for the insights of how to combat damaging unspoken agreements. The more we fill our minds with the Word of God, the less likely damaging thoughts will take up residence.

    1. Thanks so much, Karen! I could not agree more!! Many of us, many in our churches and ministries, do not grow up with positive, Christian messages and it can be hard to erase the negative ones Satan sows or uses others to sow. I saw it clearly many times as a Christian clinical counselor for 25 years and through also serving on a church staff for 13 years. Love and hugs to you, my friend!

  8. Powerful phrase: “Take back the truth.”

    This sounds so forceful, and I love it. Only by filling our minds with what is true and from God can we un-learn all the lies that our hearts have absorbed over these years of living.

    So good to be reading Truth at your place today, Pam!

    1. Thanks, Michele! I think that there is something about getting older and the experiences acquired along the way that results in my feeling a sense of urgency and boldness to write more directly. Your gracious words blessed me!

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