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In 2005 movie screens around the world brought the epic Narnia tale by C.S. Lewis of The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe  to life. For many persons it was their first exposure to this story beginning in WW II  when the bombings in London resulted in many of London’s children being sent outside of the city to the homes of countrymen and women where they could escape the unceasing bombs. This is where we meet the four Pevensie children, Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy, the main characters in the story.

The four siblings say goodbye to their mother and the memory of their father and move to the large home of a professor, Professor Digory Kirke, whose life and home are not at all accustomed to children. The children have a hard time finding things to do and be quiet as to not disturb the professor and soon fall prey to the ire of his housekeeper. On the one day they decide to play hide and seek in the large home, a new adventure begins as Lucy (the youngest) hides in a large wardrobe that opens in the back of many fur coats and takes her into the world of Narnia.

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Like most good stories and movies we can be drawn to some characters more than others and Lucy’s delight in discovery and sweet kindness to the unusual creatures she meets in Narnia is easy to love. Peter and Susan, the oldest, are not unlike many oldest siblings. They have lost some of their playfulness and are trying to watch out for Lucy and Edmund in the absence of their mother and we know that can bring about more than a few challenges. Edmund struggles the most from the outset of the story in London and can seem less likeable as he tends toward grumpiness and not being quick to obey any rules.

If you know the story, the siblings of Lucy don’t believe her story of the wardrobe and Narnia and Edmund is especially unkind to her about the story but then tries to discover it himself and ends up falling into Narnia in his envy of Lucy’s adventure. But here the tale exposes how his anger and envy leads him into trouble when he meets the witch (the self-appointed Queen of Narnia) who captivates him by showing him attention and offering him treats, most especially Turkish delight that he requests.

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Edmund has no clue that he is being enticed by the evil the witch intends and how the flaws in his character are perfectly suited to her desires to draw all his siblings into Narnia after he exposes the truth there are other children. Her schemes and his love of Turkish delight result in telling the witch many things that give her what she needs to know to reign indefinitely in Narnia. 

Edmund’s anger and envy lead him to betray them all over time as the witch promises Edmund he can rule with her and eat endless Turkish delight. His choices lead all his siblings and the wondrous creatures of Narnia still alive into perilous situations and great sorrow.

If you know the story, you know that they meet Aslan whose life becomes a sacrifice for theirs and he puts the witch’s cruel ways to right after he first confronts Edmund’s betrayal and lies.

C.S. Lewis writes not only an epic fantasy story but points to so many things we can see in our midst if we open our eyes and look more carefully first at ourselves and then the world around us.

We can hope we are much like Lucy who discovers beauty and brings joy and kindness wherever she goes and easily trusts and follows Aslan and believes in him. But sadly we can be prone to not be so unlike Edmund. We can feel left out or less than from any number of things and seeds of anger and envy  left unchecked can take us into dark thoughts and places. Too often we can reach a place where that internal warring bursts out and the lust to have what we believe others have takes over. 

When that happens all that the enemy desires to use us for can happen without much thought. We lash out in hurtful ways, sometimes subtle and other times much less so. We tell lies both small and big to try to get a position with others without realizing we are first of all lying to ourselves. We care not for others and can be tempted to take what is not ours no matter the cost. 

It can be easy to dismiss what may be brewing inside of us because we may know it is not good but the “Turkish delight” can tempt us beyond what we can imagine. We can come to believe nothing else will do but to have whatever it is to ease the undealt with pain inside of us.

Violence comes in many forms. It starts with small seeds that can grow to a point where we can destroy others and ourselves. Too often we miss those small seeds yet seem to see them easily in others. Let us all beware of “Turkish delight.”

“Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another”. Galatians 5:26 ESV

“For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every evil practice” James 3:16 ESV

“So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy, and slander”. 

1 Peter 2:1

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If you want to have a truly delicious cup of tea, it will take time. You won’t settle for plopping a tea bag in a cup. You’ll want to good loose-leaf tea of your preference that you steep to perfection. You’ll enjoy the fragrance and the color as well as the taste and if you can linger perhaps, you will enjoy a scone with fresh Devonshire cream. If you’re not a tea drinker and prefer coffee, you will likely take pleasure in a great coffee ground from fresh beans and brewed or poured over to just the right strength.

Despite how our lives are often lived at a quick pace and we gobble up information in bytes on devices of various kinds, the best things in life take time. And never has that been truer than in relationship and especially friendship. The friendship that satisfies our souls is one that is not rushed and sampled in bytes of any form because it requires real conversation rather than texts or messaging. Why? Because that is how you come to truly know and become known by another person.

Is it risky? Absolutely! It exposes us, requires vulnerability and with all of that, the risk of rejection or exposure.

“…friendship is being known by someone else and loved anyway. Friendships in which we’re vulnerable make or break our lives. With them we thrive, and without them an essential part of us – if not all of us – dies.”

Justin Whitmel Earley

If we have lived any length of time, we already know what those risks can be. Earlier in our life overnight sleepovers or long talks can result in us sharing things about ourselves that perhaps no one knows. We feel uncertain about sharing them, but somehow, we want to share them also. Sometimes that doesn’t work out very well and we feel betrayed when the person shares it with others or decides we aren’t the person they hoped or thought. Yes, it is a risk, but we take it because built into our DNA is a desire to be truly known and truly loved by someone.

I say it was built into our DNA because I think God created us that way because of who He is. He is a Trinity, a relationship of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. That relationship is what we stem from so it’s natural for us to desire friendship at deep levels. Our challenge is that we are flawed human beings, not the perfect Trinity.

“…there is only one time in the creation story when God says the words ‘not good,’ and it is when a man is alone (Genesis 2:18). Everything else that comes before is pronounced ‘good.’ “

Justin Whitmel Earley

Consider that Adam was not alone then. God was with Him in the Garden of Eden in unfettered relationship. There had been no fall yet that separated Adam from God and yet, God saw Adam needed friendship beyond that and Eve was created.

This level of friendship I speak of is not one born of shared interests, concerns, activities, and identities that may be the thing that brings us together. We may have multiple people in our lives that this would be true of, and we enjoy those shared things without necessarily sharing much about the inside of us that goes deeper and beyond all those things.

“Vulnerability and time turn people who have a relationship into people who have a friendship. That’s what friendship is: vulnerability across time. The practice of conversation is the basis of friendship because it’s in conversation that we become exposed to each other.”

Justin Whitmel Earley

Earley’s definition makes clear we will not have a long list of these friendships because time needed to develop such relationship will never be enough beyond just a few at a time. When we are young, we may not recognize that and speak of having a lot of friends without realizing how much it costs to gain a deeper level of friendship, to have someone who sees our brokenness, our mistakes, and idiosyncrasies and loves us anyway. That’s what taking the risk and being known can gain for us and it’s priceless even though it won’t happen every time we take that risk.

Over the course of my life, there have been seasons when I did not have the gift of deep friendship and I was poorer for it in many ways. My life has also involved cherished deeper levels of friendship that did not stay at that level because the person moved to a different place so far away that we could not connect face-to-face and share regularly together. Sometimes illness or other things interrupted the flow of time and regular connection and here and there death came and ended something precious. Sometimes the time needed to develop will give you a special friendship unique in every way.

It can happen when the little girl you adored becomes the teen who can’t keep her room organized to the woman who becomes a wife and mother. You know things about each other no one else does. You have seen each other at your best (hopefully) and worst. You are each other’s biggest fans and cheerleaders and know what you look like when you have on no makeup, are sick and cranky, or lose your temper. That stays more connected even when hundreds of miles separate you.

It can happen with sons too with moms but more so with dads as girlfriends and wives come into their life. It will look different for men since feelings and deep internal thoughts do not find words as easily many times, but as time allows and age increases that too can change.

“The vulnerable friendships that embody the gospel don’t happen because we wish we had them; they happen because they’re cultivated over time. They grow because we arrange the trellis of habit that allows them to flourish.

Friendships are hard when you don’t actually have time together, which is why friendships are not just about vulnerability but also about time.”

Justin Whitmel Earley

Justin Earley talks about how he chose to live in a particular area because of close friends there in his book I have been quoting, The Common Rule: Habits of Purpose for an Age of Distraction.

But even then, with persistence and effort and creativity and a LOT of travel time, you can make it special and deepen over the years of your life.

“The fundamental truth of friendships is not that love is limited but that love is infinite. We know this because the friendship of the Trinity did not generate less love, but more love. By virtue of making us like him, God in creation expanded the circle of friends. Jesus now calls us friends, and by saving us, he invites us into the dance of the Trinity. The circle of love is open and expanding. The nature of true friendship is not to shut the outsider out, it is to draw them in.”

Justin Whitmel Earley

Every day we are bombarded by very technological devices created to help us be more effective, stay in touch more easily, and handle details for us. Some of are old enough to recall life before all these “helpers” came along. Our calendars used to be toted around in daily planners we carried with us. Some were small enough to fit in a purse or briefcase, but others were more cumbersome, and we tried to manage them with anything else we needed to carry.

When my parents were growing up in the 1920’s in the midwestern United States, only 35% of homes had a telephone. As a child, I recall the first phone was one that hung on the wall of the farmhouse where my dad had grown up. It was a brown box with the mouthpiece attached and a receiver with a cord you lifted to your ear. There were still telephone operators back then and to cut down on cost, many had what was called a “party line”, meaning that several other households used the same line versus one that belonged only to you. The phone of my childhood was like that and could sometimes tempt me to try to pick up the receiver and listen to the conversations of others – clearly not a good choice.

People could also use those telephone operators to connect you to a number you did not know even after large telephone books began to be published. In my home, the phone was something my mother enjoyed so she could connect with her parents and sisters who lived in the county next to ours. It didn’t ring often, and I don’t recall ever using it, but I do know that when it was replaced, the phone had a private line so we could access it at any time. That may have started the desire to be able to reach anyone at any time by this device, but it was still a long way from what this invention has become today. Part of that was because all it could do was handle a phone call. It couldn’t keep our calendar, show us a map, take photos, and store them, connect us to news sites, and a host of things our modern-day phones do for us now. We had tasted the convenience of the telephone and our appetites were whetted for more and it seems the taste became insatiable.

In the 1960’s when my husband and I were in college, connection happened by handwritten letters or occasionally a letter typed on a manual typewriter. In the 1980’s when our children were in college, they needed to stand in line to use a pay phone in the dorm, handwritten letters were still common, and electronic and electric typewriters were being replaced by the new computers that were not owned by students but available in the library. Our grandchildren in college have smartphones, computers, tablets, and all manner of devices. They FaceTime or use Zoom or any number of apps to stay in touch. These devices track their calendars, routes via GPS, search for resources we used to spend hours looking for in card catalogs in the library, and capture moments of fun with cameras that have nearly replaced a separate camera.

Most of us will admit we would be lost without these new phones and the valuable tool they have become, but in the process of that is it possible they have had more downsides than we may have noticed at the beginning? Are they now the tool or the master of us? Some of us have begun to see these questions and set some new boundaries on them like not having phones at the table when we are eating at the time we are supposed to have a chance to relate with those who are actually present with us, but is there more we need to consider? There is a real core struggle with our smartphones.

“This is the core struggle with the smartphone. It’s amazing because it allows us to communicate our presence across time and space, but it’s dangerous for the very same reason. It can fracture our presence across time and space until nothing is left. Usually this happens simply by habit, like me talking via phone…whlle doing two or three things.”

Justin Whittle Earley

Our presence is the greatest gift we can give someone else, but these new devices have sometimes gotten us caught up in so many places we are trying to be present that we are not present with anyone and with it, we are less genuine as well.

“Presence is at the heart of who we are, because presence is at the core of our relationship with God. From creation to salvation, the story of the Bible is fundamentally a story of presence. Eden was Eden because the unmediated presence of God was there. God was with Adam and Eve, until sin broke the bliss of that presence.”

Justin Whittle Earley

Now the device we are holding almost constantly gets in the way of presence and allows us to hide from one another as we are captivated by the screen we hold in our hands. We say we are listening in more than one place at a time, but the truth is that we cannot be present in more than one place at a time.

These smartphones (even if we are limiting them at certain times and places) have become such companions for work, friends, family, entertainment, and more that we feel alone and lost when we try to put them down for any length of time or we experience the panic of losing or misplacing them. That would not only leave us alone but put us into silence and silence gets us in touch with who we really are. For some of us, that can be terrifying. Yet, knowing who we really are is vital.

“Only when we know who we are can we turn to love others, not use others. Only then can we actually listen to them…

Even more, when we cultivate inner rhythms of silence, we become attentive to the value of conscience, to the voice of God’s love for the world, and to the voice of our neighbor’s need.”

Justin Whittle Earley

How do we tackle this issue that challenges us more than we want to often admit? Justin Whittle Earley offers a suggestion in The Common Rule: Habits of Purpose for an Age of Distraction:

“We were made for presence, but so often our phones are the cause of our absence. To be in two places at a time is to be no place at all. Turning off our phones for an hour a day is a way to turn our gaze up to each other, whether that be children, coworkers, friends, or neighbors. Our habits of attention are habits of love. To resist absence is to love neighbor.”

Justin Whittle Earley

It would be great if the things in our life that we use or value did not get broken, but they do. Some of those things we may get frustrated about, but they are not something we use often or value highly. Anything else is something we want to find a fix for as soon as we can. It happens to the best of us because accidents happen, or things wear out.

My husband would tell you that if the washer, dryer, oven, stove, or HVAC stops working, I will be an unhappy girl because I count on those things as needed and necessary most every day to help life run more smoothly. I would tell you that if something with one of our cars or the roof of our house develops a problem, I will be concerned but he will be more unhappy as he sees a problem to tackle to take care of us.

If I accidentally let an inexpensive glass drop and shatter, I will be frustrated about the mess and trying to capture all the little pieces of it that seem to go everywhere. If I accidentally break a fine piece of crystal or something that once belonged to my mother, I will be very upset either because of the cost of the replacement or that it will not be fixable or replaceable.

But other things break and are not easily fixed that may haunt us for an even longer time. What kinds of things? Relationships with others whom we have cared about, organizations we trusted, or leaders we believed in and learned they were not what they appeared to be are a few examples. These sorts of things leave imprints on our hearts that may not be fixable and are difficult to heal.

Our image of ourselves can be broken when we make the poorer choice, act on impulse, or take a risk we knew we should not have taken. Some of these may be small, others may be big and less likely to be redeemed by us or those who care about us.

When things get broken, our response tells us a lot about what we value and how we are valued by those around us who are witnesses to the brokenness.

Our bodies get broken in innumerable ways from a cut that may require a few stitches to a cancer that cannot be cured, from a mild allergic reaction that causes us to be uncomfortable to something that poisons us and takes our life. Our bodies also start breaking down as we age and are not always fixable from the wear and tear of living life.

Many things in the world are broken and despite the best efforts of the brightest minds and most creative researchers much of it cannot be fixed. It was broken a long time ago and the consequences of that terrible day in the Garden of Eden have shadowed us on every level since then. Sometimes our own efforts to fix things have made it all worse. And that can create hopelessness and despair in the most optimistic of us.

But there is good news in the midst of all the brokenness of all sizes, shapes, and kinds. On that fateful day when Adam and Eve set aside from following what God directed, He already had a plan for the brokenness that would result and multiply century by century. He knew it would never be enough to make sacrifices of goats, lambs, and more. This was too big of a break. It would require Him to make a sacrifice of his only Son who was perfect to set things right.

When Jesus offered himself up as the sacrifice for those who would believe and accept Him, He made us complete even though we were broken and unfixable. He did for us what we could not do for ourselves no matter how hard we might try. Paul shares that great truth with us as follows:

“For the full content of divine nature lives in Christ, in his humanity, ¹⁰ and you have been given full life in union with him. He is supreme over every spiritual ruler and authority.”

Colossians 2:9-10 (GNT)

Living in this life will never give me all the fixes that I need. Precious antiques handed down cannot be replaced, a lost relationship may not be repairable, a disease may not have a cure, and we will not be able to halt the process of aging and all that comes with it. Living in this life we will always make mistakes and poor choices even if we seek not to do so simply because we are imperfect and unable to do life perfectly on any level. But the good news is that because of that one perfect sacrifice by Jesus, we can be complete in Him and in the life after our earthly one we will be changed completely.

No matter whether our home is small or large, new, or old, most of us will have at least one table tucked inside. For many it will serve a variety of purposes depending on the need or even time of day. It may be where the first meal of the day is eaten and then become a workspace for someone who needs a large flat surface. Later it might serve as the place for study as students also need such a larger flat surface. And if we can do so, we will choose the table with a nod to our expected uses and favorite style.

I still remember the table in the kitchen of the farmhouse where I grew up. It served many purposes. Beyond the place where we had our meals, it was where my mother would carefully lay out patterns tacked onto fabric for her next dress. It was where I attacked my homework after school. During harvesting from the garden, it was often a place where it held freshly filled jars of jams, peaches, cherries, and other yummy things. It was the place she wrapped gifts and frosted cakes or cookies. There was no island so popular now, so it was used every moment of the day for one thing or another.

Of all the things I remember about that table, my fondest memories were when we had it opened to its widest expanse to make room for others to have a meal with us. My mother loved to cook, and I often said that she spelled love, “food.” Her other strong conviction was that those who were alone should not need to be alone to enjoy a meal so those who were single, widowed, or far from other family, were often invited to our table.

In the hectic-paced world most live in today, how many times does the table serve as a place to come together as a family or in community with one another? Yes, it has always had utilitarian uses, but it has been far more than simply another piece of furniture or a place to hold food or homework, papers, books, or pattern pieces.

Most any special occasion will involve gathering around a table to fellowship and celebrate whether it be in good times or bad. Breaking bread together has become a part of humankind life for a very long time. Some of that may be because eating is central and necessary to sustain human life, but something more than that happens around a table and as I have been reading The Common Rule: Habits of Purpose for an Age of Distraction by Justin Whittle Earley, that has come more sharply into focus.

“The table is the center of gravity. When we see food as fuel, we turn all of this on its head. We aren’t grateful to God; we assume our right to food. We aren’t grateful to each other; we create systems of food that embody the exploitation of our neighbors who grow, transport, prepare, and serve our food. We aren’t grateful to creation; we consume the earth’s food greedily and carelessly, as if it were ours to binge on and trash instead of ours to steward and cultivate into flourishing.”

Justin Whittle Earley

Even with moms and dads working and often arriving home at different times, children going here and there, and meals at dinner not routine many days, most will still value the table (this center of gravity) with care for how it will serve and represent them.

When we do come together around a table over food, it becomes formational for all the things we share and learn about one another in the process. It’s a place we learn about operationalizing love.

“Think of all the ways the values of love are communicated over food. We serve each other. We clean up after each other. We take turns. We share. We fight and forgive. We praise and compliment. We express gratitude. We tell stories and ask questions. We listen. We hear each other pray.”

Justin Whittle Earley

Dearest memories of the last years of my parents’ lives before they left this earth were times we were gathered around their table. Food was finished and we lingered at the table where we would ask a question that led to hearing my parents (especially my dad) tell stories of the days he was growing up or their early marriage together. Inevitably, one question would lead to another, and no one jumped up to turn on a TV or clear the dirty dishes. We were caught up in the important story of my parents’ life. There would usually be at least one funny story and laughter was common. Those later years were when I learned what a great storyteller my dad was. I think our grandchildren have had that experience with my husband (their grandpa) since he has been known not only to sample warm cookies on our kitchen table but also create fantasies about a year he lived with the Eskimos and more. It was a long time before they were old enough to know it was a story he had created.

For those who are involved with their faith, we find more than one or two times when we see a gathering around a table as we read the Bible. Some of our places of worship may have a painting of Jesus with the disciples coming together for that last Passover before He would be crucified. We remember it each time we come together to remember that sacrifice for the sacrament of Holy Communion. We get invited to that table and that is no small invitation.

“But we don’t get invited to the table because of anything we’ve done. We get invited because of what Jesus has done. This is why Christians regularly come to the Communion table to feast on the body and blood of Christ. It is a reminder that because of Christ, we will commune with God again over food.”

Justin Whittle Earley

Our oldest grandson was married nearly two years ago, and we looked forward to being there to celebrate this wonderful occasion but despite how precious he is to us, we look forward even more to the feast of the Marriage Supper of the Lamb we read about in the book of Revelation 19 when we who believe in Him will be joined with Him at long last as He has always desired. That will surpass any celebration any of us have been part of or can imagine and the great thing for us is knowing we will share that time with those in our family (both present and past).

A table is not just a piece of furniture.