It happens so easily to us…

Sometimes it can happen when we are enjoying coffee with a friend. Conversation is flowing back and forth and then our friend hesitates and doesn’t continue with where the conversation was headed. The unfinished communication can leave us hanging and wondering. If we know the person well, we may ask about it but often we will not take that risk and later we start to fill in the empty spots in that part of the conversation with various speculations.

It can happen when we sent a note to someone and there is no response. The silence leaves us wondering if the note arrived, struck the wrong tone, or any number of other thoughts that might crop up. We are ripe for doubts about the relationship and whether or not we matter or are valued by the other person. Depending on what we do next determines whether we draw a little line in our hearts that make us less open to the person in the future.

There was a time not so many years ago when the pace of life was slower. Friends would “sit a spell” and visit on front porches over iced tea or lemonade. The fine art of writing letters gave opportunities to express yourself in depth without interruption. Back then even the handwriting and the paper used gave us a sense of the person and we often saved the letters to reread when we felt a need to reconnect with the other person’s heart or thoughts. Those were the “good old days.” But invention and options changed and before we could even catch up, we were moving from a phone that hung on the wall in our kitchens to a phone we could hold in our hand that could connect us to the world in seconds.

Communication became quicker and easier, but it wasn’t necessarily better. We started to catch up with each other in sound bites with abbreviations that not everyone knew. There was more and more room for misunderstanding and temptations to fill in the blanks of incomplete sound bites.

Be honest – how do you react when you send a text message or video clip and get no response?

Incomplete communication or silence when we have reached out stirs up our inadequacies and offers us lots of space to start having doubts. And it doesn’t just happen in personal relationships. It happens in our various groups and organizations, when we watch or listen to news of any kind, and even in our ministry connections. We start to fill in those empty spots with our own questions, uncertainties, and disappointments.

And it can happen in our relationship with the Lord as well.

“While many sounds can hurt our ears, I think silence is the most painful because it can hurt our hearts. In the silence, we are tempted to fill in the blanks in our life, our future, and our relationship with God. And that’s dangerous. In the silence, we are tempted with doubt and fear, and, worst of all, we may resort to godlessness that sprouts from trying to make things happen on our own. Meanwhile, we’re prone to make agreements that are not founded in truth. Thoughts like God is not good, God is not trustworthy, and God does not care sink into our souls. Like a barbed hook, they don’t leave easily. Once the wound is inflicted and the hook ensnared, the infection of disappointment and disillusionment sets in. Before we know what has happened, anger surfaces, followed by guilt. In an effort to handle the guilt, anger, disillusionment, and disappointment, we draw a line. After all, lines are simple. Lines are straightforward. Lines make us feel safe.”

Margaret Feinberg in The Sacred Echo

It can and does happen in potentially any and all relationships. Trust erodes and the next attempt at interaction comes from a little distance and as a result adds to the dissatisfaction and the gap widens and the line gets reinforced and with it a callus starts to form on our hearts.

We become self-protective. We decide it is better not to pray so we aren’t disappointed more than we already are.

“I won’t ask God for anything he won’t give.”

“I won’t ask God for anything too specific.”

“I won’t ask God for anything too personal. Too meaningful. Too miraculous.”

“That way, neither God nor I have to cross the line. The line of self-protection works perfectly, except for one little problem: whenever we draw a line with God it’s as if something inside of us dies.”

Margaret Feinberg in The Sacred Echo

If the habit continues as it can easily do, we can find ourselves in a very dry and desolate place. We tend to isolate ourselves from others as the process is occurring and then lament that no one cares about us. We don’t reach out to others as we once did. We skip going to the group gatherings we used to attend. We sit by ourselves in a concert or congregation and each time we make those choices, we die a bit more inside and our hearts become more callused and can harden as well.

It’s not unique to this time and place. We see that many like David or Elijah believed they were alone, and God had deserted them along with everyone else.

The good news is that God continues to try to reach our hearts.

“…when we draw lines with God, he does not draw them with us. He is committed to breaking us out of our imprisoned thinking and renewing our minds and hearts and spirits with the truth. God wants to set us free and often he will use others to do it.”

“He wants to erase the lines, even the hidden ones, and bring redemption and restoration. No place is off limits for God. No hurt, pain, or disappointment is beyond his healing power.”

Margaret Feinberg in The Sacred Echo

That is truly good news, but there is another piece we need to recognize as well. If we drew lines that resulted in our hearts that made them callused or hardened, He longs for us to own that truth, confess that, and repent of shutting Him out. Scripture makes clear that He will pursue us, but He will not knock down the door to our hearts. Only we can open them to the Shepherd’s gentle knock.

“Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;

    therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.

For the Lord is a God of justice.

    Blessed are all who wait for him!”

Isaiah 30:18 (NIV)

In 1934 George Gershwin composed the aria, “Summertime,” for the 1935 opera, Porgy and Bess.The lyrics are credited to both DuBose Heyward who authored the book, Porgy, from which the opera is taken, and also Ira Gershwin. The opening line paints a picture of what we think of and hope for when summer comes − “Summertime, and the livin’ is easy” −…a change of pace from the hectic days of other seasons.

Whether we are someone still in school looking for that wondrous summer vacation, or an adult hoping for a time at the beach or in the mountains, we hope for days and evenings to slow down. We imagine tall glasses of lemonade or iced tea, the smell of meat cooking on the grill, a fire to gather around while we make s’mores, and the sparkle of fireflies competing with stars to light up the summer night sky.

We look for a great new novel to enjoy at our leisure and watch for ads to farmers’ markets to get the produce that exceeds the quality of what we find in our local grocery store. We look for which musicians are heading to an outdoor venue near us. We dream about juicy berries and melon, crisp corn on the cob, and homemade ice cream.

We like to recall times in childhood when we experienced those and want to savor such times again, but summer doesn’t always give us what we want.

More and more structured summer activities start lining up on our calendar; the weather turns gray and rainy, something happens to adjust those vacation plans, and poison ivy and summer colds refuse to skip over our family.

Challenges of all kinds have never heard about what summer is supposed to be about. Illness still happens. Death doesn’t’ take a vacation and our boss doesn’t let go of his expectations for the new project that needs to be completed in two weeks.

News headlines don’t let up on a bird’s eye view of the chaos breaking out in every part of the globe. Headlines scream at us about minor and major tragedies in places we have heard of and others we didn’t know existed. They can easily stir up fear, anger, and hopelessness for a better world.

We want to enjoy summer as Nat King Cole sang about, “Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer…” We want to sit on our patio, porch, or deck and let our minds drift with no particular place to focus. We want to drift along on a stream in a canoe while we watch the leafy canopy above our heads cast shade and shadows on the water and us.

We want sunshine and cloudless skies in the summer because we often realize that we have allowed weariness to squash our wonder at the beauty around us. Such weariness was born from lack of rest and too much of everything happening most of the time.

What happens to our spiritual moorings in summertime? In our yearning to drift along and relax without a lot of structure, does our spiritual life drift as well?

Do we forget that the things we see with the natural eye point to the unseen spiritual warfare going on about us throughout the world?

Time and again scripture reminds us to stay alert and that if we drift, we can get off course. The writer of Hebrews makes note of that in reference to salvation in Hebrews 2:1, but I think the author’s words can have a broader application as well.

“This is why it is so crucial that we be all the more engaged and attentive to the truths that we have heard so that we do not drift off course.”  Hebrews 2:1 (TPT)

Summertime is a seasonal gift the Lord gives us to enjoy, but it doesn’t come with any guarantees to fit our desires or definition.

So when the rain won’t stop, look for Him beyond the clouds where his light is always shining. When illness keeps you down and the news is empty of hope and when all our plans fall apart consider this:

“Once you learn that you can never really plan your destination, you stop worrying so much about the map.”  

Lisa Wingate in The Language of the Sycamores.

Not losing sight of the Lord or his truth is the best way to assure we will find joy in the season (even if it doesn’t meet our expectations). If we are his and He is ours, our ultimate destination is set and perhaps we can let go of the unexpected stops or detours along the way. Nothing can satisfy our need for rest and refreshing as He does.

If I were to ask you if you like change, I wonder how you would answer that question. We can tend to have some strong feelings about change − either pro or con.

Some of us are adventurous and change in nearly any area offers us the excitement of discovering something new. We like stretching ourselves to expand what we know and testing what we know already. But sometimes that may be in a few areas, but not across all aspects of our lives.

One person in our family when our children were young was adventurous with food. No matter what restaurant was mentioned, he was eager to try it. He loved trying something on the menu that he had never tasted before. We now have a grandson from another branch of the family tree who is much like that and recently enjoyed sampling snails while he was vacationing in Paris.

Others of us like challenging ourselves physically with new or extreme sports to test the limits of our abilities and experience the thrill that goes with it.

This summer many of us will go on a vacation. Some will go back to the same cabin or same condo where we have gone for a long time and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Others of us explore maps, tour books, and the Internet to find new destinations each year.

Some of us have personalities and preferences that are wired to like and need structure in our routines so anything that brings a change to those things can leave us feeling at sea.

Many of these things represent a category of change − things we choose to experience that are different. Harder changes are ones that are not of our own choosing. Those come in various types and sizes and may push us to the limits of our adaptability.

Change is a constant in life. We have far less control than we might think or wish.

Growing up and getting older will be a change we happily anticipate as we think about things we will be able to do that we cannot when we are a child or teen. There is no question we will grow up and get older even if we don’t wish to do that, but as we do we will learn that some things we could do and be previously are lost to us. New responsibilities and tasks come our way. Time to play is limited to fewer hours or even minutes in any given day or week.

We also get in touch with how that process of growing older doesn’t go as slowly as we wish. We change schools, homes, jobs, relationships, churches, routines, and more. Our bodies change − sometimes without warning − adding to what we can do or taking away something we thought would never change.

We look forward to the change of leaving home and living on our own (sometimes in a new city or state or even country) and we plan the kind of life we want to have (sometimes similar to our parents and other times quite different). Then about the time we feel settled in this new life with a family of our own, change comes to us again − our own children grow up and go on their own way.

Whether we love these changes or dislike them, we take with us things that can help us in this new place or season − experience, abilities, skill sets, and more − that can serve as a foundation for where we find ourselves.

“When things around you change − where you are, where you’re going − the one fact that remains constant, the one anchor that holds fast, is where you have been.” 

Lisa Wingate inThe Language of the Sycamores

The significance of the word “anchor” in the quote is how it fits in our spiritual lives.

An anchor is a very early Christian symbol that has been found in ancient catacombs. It brings together the cross and nautical Christian symbolism. That anchor is more significant than where we have been.

In ancient times, an anchor was a symbol of safety and symbolizes Christ’s unfailing hope in the midst of life’s upheavals and uncertainties.

Change is a constant in this life whatever our proclivities may be. There is little doubt that sometimes change will not be a choice we make, will not be easy or without cost to us. Our source of help is clear in Hebrews 6:13-10 (TPT):

“¹³ Now when God made a promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater than himself, he swore an oath on his own integrityto keep the promise as sure as God exists! ¹⁴ So he said,

“Have no doubt, I promise to bless you over and over,     and give you a son and multiply you without measure!”

¹⁵ So Abraham waited patiently in faith and succeeded in seeing the promise fulfilled.¹⁶ It is very common for people to swear an oath by something greater than themselves, for the oath will confirm their statements and end all dispute. ¹⁷ So in the same way, God wanted to end all doubt and confirm it even more forcefully to those who would inherit his promises. His purpose was unchangeable, so God added his vow to the promise. ¹⁸ So it is impossible for God to lie for we know that his promise and his vow will never change!

And now we have run into his heart to hide ourselves in his faithfulness. This is where we find his strength and comfort, for he empowers us to seize what has already been established ahead of time—an unshakeable hope! ¹⁹ We have this certain hope like a strong, unbreakable anchor holding our souls to God himself. Our anchor of hope is fastened to the mercy seat which sits in the heavenly realm beyond the sacred threshold, ²⁰ and where Jesus, our forerunner,has gone in before us. He is now and forever our royal Priest like Melchizedek.”

In the midst of change, He is our unshakeable hope.

My favorite form of exercise is probably walking. I love to do it alone many times so I can take in all of God’s creation around me without distraction. I notice so many things I miss when my ears, eyes, and thoughts are wrapped up in my day-to-day living activities and concerns. I often go without music plugged into my ears so I don’t miss the sounds of the birds, the breeze, or the Lord’s whispers. Sometimes He wants to point out something to me and I would never want to miss it!

Other times I love walking with a family member or friend. It’s an opportunity to talk without interruptions from electronic devices and assorted other things.

Walks with several of my grandchildren would top the list of some of my favorite memories. It’s given each of us time to get to know one another in unique ways as we have shared. One of those times was a photo walk where our youngest granddaughter and I were looking for special evidences of creation to catch a glimpse of through our camera lenses.

My husband has also been a great walking partner often in our years together. I have especially loved times when he has told me the story of the latest book he has been reading. Because he is one who notices details, it has given me the sense of being in the midst of the book with him. One of his best stories was telling me about Undaunted Courage that chronicles the Lewis and Clark expeditions.

Sometimes the walk is solely for the purpose of exercise, but I love the walks that do not have that purposeful stride I am looking to have as I wend my way along a path or neighborhood sidewalk.

But there is another issue of walking I must not neglect and it can be one that I must be purposeful about. It relates to Paul’s words in Ephesians:

“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, ² with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, ³ eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Ephesians 4:1-3 (ESV)

Paul is stating an imperative in these verses. That puts it in the category of being an essential thing, crucial, vitally important, and a command, but what we fail to sometimes consider is what it means to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling.” That requires more intentionality.

Walking in such a manner means that I am looking like Him (or seeking to do so) not only in my words, but also in my actions, attitudes, tone, and posture in all things. After all, Jesus makes clear He represented the Father in his time on earth and was actually showing us the Father.

Am I (are you) showing others Jesus and the Father?

In this tension filled polarized world, how will that look for each of us?

The other words in the passage outline that, don’t they? If I am walking in humility, I am neither boasting nor trying to convey that I am right, my position is the one that clearly is most Christian, or trying to convince you that you are wrong. My social media is filled with postings from brothers and sisters that do not reflect that and I am pulled back to seek the Lord about what I post myself. Does it edify, build up, show love, promote our oneness in Him or does it focus on a position that can be debated and comes from my opinion, preferences, and experiences? We all have those (Me too!), but far too often they separate us; and, the body of Christ grows weaker when we promote them.

Each of us is called to be patient and “bear one another in love” and it is good to have those with whom we share those unfiltered ideas and opinions, but when they do not lead to peace and unity between us, do they result in a walk that is worthy of His calling?

In Paul’s first book to the Thessalonians, in 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV) he exhorts the reader again about what walking in a worthy manner would look like:

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)

In this case, Paul offers commendation for those who are doing it.

Am I?

Are you?

“Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today,’ so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”  

Hebrews 3:13 (NIV)