Charles Causey talks about “force multipliers” in his book, Words and Deeds. What does he mean by those?  Here is his definition:  “an attribute that significantly increases the effectiveness of the group to accomplish its mission.”  These are also operational for an individual to use even through a partner who walks alongside and holds us accountable can be invaluable. I like this term and its meaning as we look at how we lay better hold on integrity so that our lives more resemble Christ, our words and actions match.

Causey identifies six of these and his list is so excellent, I will use these to identity tools to grow us toward greater integrity.

First is prayer.  It’s obvious, right? Even so, it is not always the first thing that comes to mind despite its powerful capacity to move mountains. It starts with using what we learn in the mirror of God’s Word and then talking to Him about those very things. It requires us to trust Him and believe in the truth of what we read in His Word, that He will forgive us what we confess and grant us grace. Too often we hesitate to bring what we discover about ourselves to Him. We get comfortable with it because it has been a part of us for a long time and we also get lazy.

If we want to develop Christ-like integrity, our first stop will need to be prayer and humbly acknowledging we cannot create integrity or speak it into existence. He will need to shape us and bring that quality into being.

Second is forgiveness. When we hold onto hurts and offenses we have with someone else, we cannot walk in integrity. If we have not forgiven and go with the outward pretense that all is well we operate in hypocrisy rather than integrity.  Forgiveness means we act as well as confess. That very necessary component speaks to integrity as action and words intersect.

Third is listening. Listening appears to be a lost art. Everyone is distracted by something whether internal thoughts or the device in his or her hand. How often do we see someone who appears to be involved in meeting with someone and yet there is little eye contact and more murmurs of “umhum” than real dialogue. Last week I was walking on a trail with a friend and we observed others walking alone or with friends while communicating with cell phones instead of enjoying the person with them or the beautiful spring day.

If we say we care about someone and do not listen to him or her, we are deceived. If we do not listen to them, how can we know them or even respond truthfully to what we hear. If we do not listen, we effectively communicate that we really do not care no matter what our words were. Listening is a gift that we give and becomes evidence that we care when we have said already in words: “you matter to me.”

Fourth is promptness.  I confess right now that this is not my strong suite and one I am working on daily. We all can have legitimate reasons why we are sometimes late; but if it is a pattern in our lives because we have tried to squeeze in one other thing or appointment, didn’t allow for construction or other delays, or never keep track of the clock we need to be honest about what that says. Promptness shows respect and means we have put someone else first.

When I was working as a clinical counselor, one person I met with spoke often about her difficulty feeling valuable or important to anyone. As we explored where that belief came from, we discovered it started (in part) when her father was always late when he came to visit her after her parents divorced.

Fifth is resiliency. Resiliency isn’t ignoring things that happen to us, we only have it when we face our pain, emotions, failures, and disappointments and move through them to the mercy and grace the Lord has waiting for us. Forgiveness helps us develop more of this quality and leads to the strength and toughness we need to be a person of integrity. It also results in greater empathy in our relationships so we can identify with and walk with others to encourage them to face life honestly. But we don’t magically create resiliency either. Only the Lord can be our source.

Once again, Paul speaks to this. We find his direction in Romans 5:1-5:

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. ² Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴ and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, ⁵ and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

Character equals integrity.

Kindness is the last multiplier. Kindness as a multiplier means being generous, patient, warmhearted, helpful or thoughtful without expecting anything in return. It is a quality too seldom talked about as a clear indicator of love and a boost to our integrity.

Charles Causey’s words say it best:

“Kindness is a huge integrity force multiplier. It allows people to see a man more interested in others than he is in himself. Kindness is sometimes overlooked by those writing about love. However, kindness should be considered love’s DNA, or love’s volcanic core.”

This idiom or metaphor in the post title has been used for many years. It refers to that place where two things come together or where a theory or idea is put to the practical test and accomplishes the goal. I think it is one many younger people today might not know, but for those of us of a certain age it is not unfamiliar.

One of those places “where the rubber meets the road” is when our words mean something, when the promises and commitments we make match the actions we take. Some of those promises and commitments get made too hastily because we are not looking at counting the cost and if they fit our resources of time, energy, skills and gifting, or even money.

Some promises can be what some call “pie crust promises”, ones that are easily made and easily broken.

Any of us can and do speak too quickly in giving an answer to a request, but when it becomes a habit and our follow-up does not materialize, our reputation slips and shows a gap in our character. To the degree and extent that happens, we fail to represent Christ in us. It exposes a weakness in integrity.

The short definition for integrity is that our words and actions match (“the rubber meets the road”).

We don’t need to look far or long to find examples; but rather than looking at all of those, we need to start by looking in the mirror and consider what we find there.

The Word is the perfect mirror for our examination. None of us should fear using that because we see we are in good company when we fall short.  Consider Paul’s words in Romans 7:15:

“What I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.” (NASB)

In Charles Causey’s book, Words and Deeds, he calls this personal integrity gap “the primary gap.”  To the degree we are honest with ourselves, we may be aware of such gaps whether we easily admit them or not.  But he suggests another gap as well that he calls the “perception gap.”  Let me share his definition here to be clear:

“The perception gap is that area of our inner world excluded from our awareness; the perceived words and deeds of a man as he sees himself versus the words and deeds of the man experienced by others. This gap is what others believe to be true about a man, even though he himself may not see it or believe it to be true.”

Yes, the quote uses “man” because the book was written to a male audience, but the word “woman” can and does fit easily in the definition since women are not immune to the problem. We all have blind spots and as women we often desire to please and “be nice” without recognizing how that motive may or may not be focused on others and if it causes us to commit to do or be something that we should not.

We develop blind spots because we can never see ourselves 100% accurately. We keep them when we do not use the mirror of God’s Word or have a few close to us that know us well enough to keep us accurately informed.

There are also some foes that oppose us in our desire to walk in integrity or as Paul says in Ephesians 4:1 “to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called…” 

One of the foes that oppose us is pride.  Pride has the capacity to deceive us into believing we are better than other people. We would like to deny it, but if we think we have the better opinion, plan, attitude, or skill than most anyone else, we may see one of our blind spots. Charles Causey notes, “The struggle with pride is essentially a struggle with unbelief.  To indulge in pride is to denounce the simple gospel message, to remove God from His rightful place.”

Another foe that sets us up is lying. I am not sure there is a man or woman on the earth who can plead totally innocent to never falling prey to lying or “telling a fib.” It is woven into our original DNA from the fall in the garden and sanctification takes quite a while after we come to know the Lord and may not be complete until He returns and we are wholly transformed. We are lured into lying for many reasons, but one of the most common is when we want to get rid of a problem or situation we are in the midst of with someone or something else. We fail to recognize that God is the audience we should be most aware of and it is He who desires we be authentic not only with Him, but with others as well.

Envy can also ensnare us along with greed and other “little foxes” seeking to “spoil the vines.” Thankfully, Paul comes to our aid again in Romans 8:1:

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

There are also some tools I will mention next time that can reinforce our moves toward integrity despite our frailty.

Photo by Pam Ecrement

Today I share a repeat post because the purpose of pausing to consider the cost of freedom doesn’t end.

Today in the United States we pause to celebrate Memorial Day.

Most will celebrate it with picnics, boating, ball games, swimming, family, and friends. A few will pause for those remaining public celebrations to commemorate the day. Fewer still will visit the graves of those fallen for the sake of freedom or know when this commemoration began or the cost for those who gave us the freedom to celebrate it.

Originally it was called Decoration Day and that is the name I recall when I was a young child. Its purpose? To provide a day of remembrance for those who have died in service of the United States of America.

It was born out of the United States Civil War and a desire to honor our dead. General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, proclaimed the day officially on May 5, 1868, and asked that the 30^th of May 1868 be designated for the purpose of strewing the graves of those who had died in the defense of their country with flowers and flags.

Most of us would not recall that Memorial Day began with that bloodiest of all United States wars. The country would be torn in two with the Union of the North raising an army of 2,128,948 and the Confederacy of the South mustering a total of 1,082,119 troops. It was a war that would be fought in thousands of places from southern Pennsylvania to Texas, from New Mexico to Florida with most of the battles fought in Virginia and Tennessee.

Between April 12, 1861, when Fort Sumter, South Carolina, was fired upon until April 9, 1865, when General Robert E. Lee surrendered to General Ulysses S. Grant at the McLean House in Appomattox Court House, Virginia, 620,000 would die for the cause they believed in. They would die from combat, accident, starvation, and disease. Of that number, the three-day battle on the fields around Gettysburg, PA, in 1863, would see the largest number fall. A total of 51,000 would be dead by the end of the battle.

It can be easy to forget how significant the losses were during the Civil War. Yet, our love for freedom would stir the hearts of others to serve in battles far from our own coastline. In World War II 405,399 would give their lives following the brutal conditions faced during World War I when 116,516 would fall in battle.

Of course, these would not be the only battles where men and women would give their lives for the cause of freedom. In Vietnam we would sacrifice 58,209 and in Korea we would lose 36, 516.

To establish this nation, 25,000 would die in the Revolutionary War. Another 20,000 would die in the War of 1812 and 13,283 in the Mexican War. The Spanish-American War would result in a loss of 2,446.

More recently 6,626 would be lost in battle in Iraq and Afghanistan with another 258 falling during the Gulf War.

How much do we value this freedom?

How much do we take it for granted or use it to serve our own ends rather than for the good of our brothers and sisters?

When we speak of a fight for freedom, men, and women, despite their fear or condition, held the value for liberty and the release of tyranny so foremost among their beliefs that they were willing to leave those they loved most to serve those they had never met.

As I took time to visit a small country cemetery in Ohio near where I live, I was struck as I always am by the number of American flags that had been placed on the graves of our veterans. This cemetery is adjacent to a church founded in the 1840’s.

In the oldest part of the cemetery where the gravestones are often not readable, I found flags adorning the graves of two Civil War veterans. One had died in 1865 and another in 1866. I read their names: James Turner and James Shaw. I wondered what they had seen in their time on the battlefield and if their deaths shortly after the war came because of wounds that never healed.

We can never repay the debt we owe to so many.

We can also never repay the debt we owe to the One who came to give us grace and freedom from sin, the One who suffered for us at great expense to purchase what we could not gain without His payment.

During all the fun and celebrating we may do this day, let us not forget to be thankful, to sober our hearts, to give thanks for so many who gave all they had for our sakes. Let us also thank God for His love beyond measure in what He sacrificed for us.

Freedom is never free.

Others will always want to take it from us, to enslave us. Let us remember to cherish it, not abuse it for our own selfish ends, or fail to recognize the responsibility we must uphold and guard it because of the great cost paid to grant it.

The recent popularity of films highlighting the heyday of comic books gives one example of our fascination with heroes. Marvel and DC comics of yesteryear are exciting a whole new generation of fans. They are also re-igniting older fans who have a few of the classic comic books tucked away in a basement or attic.

We admire heroes and idealize their courage, achievements, or noble qualities. We cheer them on to defeat evil, dark forces, and more. Perhaps we are drawn to them because we want to believe there is someone who can rescue and defeat the ugly dark powers of this world.

Even though we may enjoy watching villains, most of us want to see them overcome. We need to believe they can be overcome. That gives us hope that the real-life villains can be overcome as well.

We are never more likely to search for heroes than when our own world seems lost in despair and hopelessness.

I wonder if that is what has brought about the upsurge in the popularity of the film versions of the classic comic books.

The “Golden Age”of comic books dates from the late 1930’s to 1950. Comic books were first published during this time and children everywhere developed an appetite for their characters: Superman, Batman, Captain Marvel, Captain America, and Wonder Woman.

Entertainment around radio programming introduced another kind of hero as well as westerns were aired and then began to appear in the earliest days of television. The scripts gave glimpses of what the writers’ impressions of the “Old West” were  where the “good guys” and the “bad guys” were starkly contrasted and evident even beyond their white or black hats.

Consider the era these all came on the scene. The world was mired in a deep economic depression in the 1930’s. Times were bleak for many people and more than a few despaired of any hope. By the end of the 1930’s the world was plunged into the beginning of WWII that would be center stage for much of the 1940’s. It’s little wonder that children of all ages were looking for heroes.

Before the age of comics and westerns during another dark time, it would be J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis that would use the shadows that lingered from the long years in the trenches during WWI to write their classic works: The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, and the Narnia stories.

With the world of today in so much turmoil, it is not surprising so many are looking for heroes to bring hope.

The challenge for many is how much the lines between good and evil have been blurred in most areas of society. That nudges us to search for fantasy heroes when it seems the world provides few and those we believe are heroes are exposed for their frailties and failures routinely.

A search for heroes should also bring us to the Bible where we see a “hall of fame” of heroes from Genesis to Revelation. Hebrews 11 is where we see so many highlighted whose names we recognize. This chapter reminds us that it seems man has looked for heroes from the beginning of time.

The mistake we make is to forget that most any hero we read about or create is often quite fallible in character. If we look at biblical heroes, we wouldn’t need to go very far down a list to confirm that truth.

The heroes of the Bible became heroic not because of their abilities, advantages or skills, but rather for the eternal purposes of God in whom they placed their trust. Old Testament would quickly bring to mind David or Daniel to name just two.

There is only one hero throughout time or written history that passes all the tests and is without fallibility. His name is Jesus. He is the only one whose powers and character fulfill the definition of a hero. All others will ultimately disappoint us.  He is the champion.

“Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, ² but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world. ³ He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, ⁴ having become as much superior to angels as the name he has inherited is more excellent than theirs.”  Hebrews 1:1-4 (ESV)

Photo by Pam Ecrement

Life gets crazy and busy. We get tired and frustrated, disappointed and upended. In the midst of all that and more, we intend to do and be so many things…often very good things…but that does not always occur. Life is like that. Things happen that we do not intend.

We hear that when Galadriel speaks a prologue in The Lord of the Rings about the famous ring of power that had upended so many and turned the world back into darkness. She tells the audience:

“But then something happened that the Ring did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable. A Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, of the Shire. For the time will soon come when Hobbits will shape the fortunes of all…”

And so it is that things happen in life that we may not intend. How often any one of us can be heard commenting, “But I didn’t intend to…”  (Fill in the blank). Many times it is true because we did not intend or plan to hurt, harm, or disappoint someone, but in our hurried thoughtlessness we did. Sometimes that comment is also a “too ready” excuse that slips from our mouths without much thought to what our words or actions were or the consequences of them.

The truth is that no matter what our intent may be or may have been, we judge others by their actions and they judge us by ours.

No matter what we may wish to be or say, our behaviors and our words come out of the store of what is inside of us.

Yes, we all have bad moments in time, but each of us also need to consider how we move, live, and speak with a greater intentionality.

Intentionality reflects being deliberate and purposeful in how we represent ourselves, our Lord, and any and all associated with us. It also takes into account that with the best of intentions, not everyone will hear what it is we have said as we meant it to be communicated.

Trey Gowdy speaks with a great deal of insight on this topic in Unified. Here is a part of his thoughts:

“When I speak, the intention behind my words is important; but what the other person hears is even more important. The quality of my communication is always determined by the listener. Unless the other person understands and receives what we mean to say, we haven’t communicated effectively. We must speak the same language, define our terms, pursue a common understanding, and be bold and honest enough to speak up with one another…It doesn’t have to be confrontational – in fact, it’s better if it’s not – but it must be candid, truthful, and to the point. And we must be willing to listen and seek to understand the other side’s perspective.”

Few of us can claim not to have been exposed to enough truth to be clear on this. It speaks to congruency and integrity, consistency and intentionality and a clear understanding that our words matter, our actions matter, and both have consequences in this life and the next.

Each of us has the opportunity to make a difference in standing in the gap and reducing the division where we are planted and placed.

As Tim Scott notes:

“The truth is, we all need someone to model the expectation and show us the way. Leadership is caught, not taught.”

Courses on leadership abound along with more leadership training seminars than anyone can imagine and yet in every sphere and area, it is harder and harder to find true and effective leadership.

It begins with “cleaning the slate inside.”  Listen to Tim Scott’s powerful truth on this subject:

“The honest truth is that the slate that most needs cleaning is the one inside each of us – the one that has all our preconceptions, prejudices, and poisonous attitudes written on it. The one where we have recorded our pain. When I look in the mirror and see someone who has been forgiven, it’s easier for me to clean the slate with others and start fresh.”

Adding to that:

“If we want to establish friendships with people who are different from us, we simply cannot blame them for the things that others have said or done to us in the past. We cannot afford to blur the lines of responsibility. We must believe the best about each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt. In a sense, we are all living with the consequences of what others have done or not done, but let’s not attribute those things to one another. Let’s make an intentional decision to start fresh.”  Trey Gowdy

If we truly desire a better home, better neighborhood, better church, better workplace, or better nation, what is each of us demonstrating in our words and actions that show that intentionality?

I pray it will not be said of us what Ezekiel writes in Ezekiel 22:30 (NASB):

“I searched for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land, so that I would not destroy it; but I found no one.”

The wall was to keep out every ungodly thing raised up against what God had ordained and set forward.

Will each of us have the courage and intentionality to stand in the growing gap created by focusing on our differences, attributing things to one another without even knowing each other?