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Conflict seems to be ballooning in every aspect of our lives and it can be easy to list things we believe cause it and the list may well be right. But where does it get us and what is the root of this spreading issue that keeps us in a perpetual state of division about even the smallest of things?
Make no mistake. We are all infected to one degree or another. It may not be evident all the time but the temptation to yield to its wiles still exists tucked away from the front burner because we do know that it is not a good thing when we are gut-level honest.
This topic struck me as I listened to a message by Lou Giglio where he addressed how we use presuppositions as a framework for how we live. And just to review how that word is defined, here is a dictionary definition: “a thing tacitly assumed beforehand at the beginning of a line of argument or course of action.”
We make assumptions about more things than we could likely list about most any area you can name. We assume our paycheck will be there on the day we expect it. We assume the drive we routinely make will take a certain length of time. We assume when we make a date or appointment to meet with someone that they will be there. That gives you just a few examples that point to how our assuming leads to expectations that may or may not be met or even realistic.
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Why? What in us fuels that? If we have lived any length of time, we know that path often takes us to disappointment, frustration, anger, and other things that create a divide in us that can lead to broken trust, broken relationships, and flawed decisions.
Lou Giglio suggests five things that fuel these and are often the unseen or unrecognized presuppositions that create the pesky problem. They are: 1) we believe we have rights; 2) we believe we should decide; 3) we believe we know best; 4) we believe we deserve more; and 5) we believe we deserve to be happy.
You may disagree but if there is any hint of any of these operating, how does that work in a world where we are not in control? How does that work with our spouse, boss, neighbor, or friend? How does that translate into our relationship to God within our faith?
These little foxes can truly spoil much in our lives and lead us to strife, envy, and overlook the issue of pride or that we are not the center of the universe. Paul Tripp speaks directly to those things in his writing. He reminds his readers of how we wish to be or to have this or that sneaks envy into our daily life often unseen. It leads to a tendency to be judgmental of others based on our presuppositions that we know and we are right.
“Envy has its roots in the selfishness of sin (see 2 Cor. 5:14-15). Envy is self-focused; because it’s self-focused, it’s entitled; because it’s entitled, it’s demanding; because it’s demanding, it tends to judge the goodness of God by whether he has delivered what we are entitled to, and because it judges God on that basis, it leads you to question his goodness. Because you question God’s goodness, you won’t run to him for help. Envy is a spiritual disaster.”
Paul Tripp
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It is far easier to talk about love as the antidote than to live it out given this old DNA in humankind that sets us up for presuppositions of one sort or another. After all, the fruit of the forbidden tree was taken by Adam and Eve because it was knowledge and wisdom that would make them like God.
Knowledge and wisdom are vitally important. That is true, but so is the need for discernment and humility that recognizes that on our best days we do not see everything going on in the seen world (let alone the unseen world).
What would happen if we admitted there is much we don’t know and cannot know and asked God to show us what He wants us to know? After all, He knows everything and that includes each one of us. He also loves us most!
“Grace reminds you that you deserve nothing, but it does not stop there – it confronts you with the truth that God is gloriously loving, gracious, and kind, that he lavishes on us things we could never have earned. Grace also reminds us that God is wise and never gets the wrong address – he gives each of us exactly what he knows we need.”
Paul Tripp
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