I sometimes wonder if we tire as often as we do because we are holding on so tightly to so many things. Our lives can be so cluttered with things we have done, left partially finished, or still have not faced. I think we hold on because we are trying to control more than we realize. We try to control what might be taken from us, how others may view us, what masks we wear, and whom we let into our stories.
Of course, from time to time, everything slips away from our grasp and it can be easy to feel frantic about gathering all the bits and pieces back up again. It takes a while for us to see it is all an illusion. We do it over and over again despite being sons and daughters of the Lord. His life models surrender, but we avoid that as long as possible when it is exactly what is needed to gain peace and allow Him to lead.
It is when we cannot hold on any longer that we discover the sweetness His arms offer. It is when our striving ends that we feel truly light.
The journey with Linda gave me many glimpses of what it means to let go, to surrender. Listen to what she writes in her journal about that:
“Surrender! It sounds like something bad – but it’s really good. It’s letting go of it all! It’s saying, ‘Here, take it!’ It’s turning things over to someone else’s control! It’s giving up what I want…and letting God control…my life, my plans, my steps…all of it.
Remember when you gave your heart to God and asked Jesus in? You said, ‘Lord, you take control. I surrender to you!’ Did you really mean it?
I sat in church a few weeks ago and couldn’t sing, couldn’t stand – couldn’t even raise my hands! I was tired, sick, in pain, and I sat there and cried! I silently prayed: Lord, where are you? I want to sing and yet my tears and pain drown out the song in my heart! I want to dance and leap for you, but I don’t have the energy to stand! So I sat and wept.
Ever so gently the Lord spoke to my spirit and reminded me…I surrendered to Him. I gave Him full control. Even when I don’t understand. Even when it hurts. Even in the tears. Even when I don’t SEE what God’s doing! He asked, ‘Do you trust me?’ Yes, Lord, I trust you with my heart, with my very life! I have surrendered it all to you. Even my very life! I gave you full control! No matter what happens…!
I was once again reminded of that day in the hospital. The test over and done, yet something was so wrong! The nurses were flying about, doctors in and out.
As my blood pressure fell to 50/30 – the Lord’s peace filled the room and my heart. Once again He asked me, ‘Do you trust me?’ Oh, yes, Lord, I do! Then He asked, ‘Even if I take you home?’ My answer was, ‘Yes, Lord, even if you choose to take me home! I’ve surrendered it all to you – even my life!
I still can’t explain the peace I felt! I could feel His presence and such a calm came into my heart! It was okay…whether I stayed or went home! I KNEW God was in control and he’d do what was best…for me, for everyone around! I’ve given Jesus full control. I’ve surrendered and I’m free! I know no matter what happens God will pick what’s best! He’s promised!
His peace is still with me…inside, real deep! Even when I don’t understand, even when I’m in pain, even when I can’t stand or sing or lift my hands in praise to Him! I trust Him…completely!
We struggle with trying to hold on, yet when we let go, we find You holding on better. It’s in the ‘release’ that we see Your hand clearer!
Do you? No matter what?”
There are other pages and other words in her journal, but let me close this four part series with the last paragraph in her journal before it became too difficult to write:
“I told one of my links (supports) that I can picture myself at the ‘end of my rope’ and I know Your hand, Lord, is right there to catch me. But even after I’ve let go…I’m velcroed to the rope…but it’s really You that’s still holding me up! Thanks, Lord!”
Dear Pam,
As I sit here trying to figure out what chore/responsibility I should handle first, I was thinking in my talk with the Lord, “Lord can I quit?” When life seems to take over and I try to control what is going on, I am reminded that I am not the one in control. I was playing “I Am” by the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir, the realization of trusting Him had evaded me for this morning. I then read your post and I was brought to reality. I control nothing. Trust is what I committed to when I accepted Christ in my life. I love Linda through your sharing and was reminded of my sister-in-law who went to be with the Lord 20 years ago. She surrendered peacefully and willingly while sleeping as we were driving on our trip to Florida and we had an accident. Oh what peace she displayed. Oh what love He showers daily.
Thank you, I am back to my reality with HIM.
La Vonne
Hi LaVonne! I enjoy seeing seeing your name here! So blessed the Lord used what I wrote recently! Have a blessed day! 💕
Pam, What beautiful words your friend spoke. Thank you for sharing it with us. I agree we must trust God. I know in my circumstances with mental health challenges, I had to say, God, I will trust you no matter what. I trust you with my child and my life in sickness, illness, and death. I made this choice early in our journey with my child’s mental illness, so when things became overwhelming, I knew I didn’t have to make a choice I already had.
I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you lost a beautiful soul here on this earth.
They were indeed beautiful words that Linda left us in her journal. I feel honored and humbled to have her trust me to share them as I felt led. Her loss was one felt by many, but I look forward to seeing her in eternity and all of you who read her words will meet her as well!💕
Pam, thanks so much for sharing these words. What a powerful testimony your friend had and has shared with us through her journal! Surrendering to God actually does free us and He does give a peace that we can’t come up with on our own.
Blessings to you! Glad to be your neighbor today at #TrekkingThru.
Thanks, Gayl! I trust the Lord has used Linda’s words as it is the first time I felt led to pull things from her journal to share despite having it long before I even started a blog.
Have a week touched by His grace and kindness!
Yes, yes … sometimes all we can do is weep, Pam. We do well to give that grace to other hurting souls instead of rushing in with tissues, advice, or Bible verses galore.
This, the sacrifice of praise, reaches the heart of God.
Jesus wept …
Dear Pam,
This series of sharing from your friend’s journal has been so beautiful. I have a dear friend who is facing hospice care because of ALS and the ravages it has done to her body. And yet, the beauty that is transforming her spirit is amazing. As she surrenders this earthly life, God is giving her a glimpse of heaven in her heart, and through the peace that He is bringing. I so often say that I want to be quick to surrender, and question why it takes such hard things to bring me to my knees. But perhaps the “why” doesn’t matter–He is leading us all along the way to find more of His precious heart! Thank you so much for sharing these words of encouragement!
Hi Bettie!
Thanks so much! I greatly appreciate your sharing about your friend.
Blessings and love,
Pam
Wow! Linda’s journal entry that you shared is truly a spectacular demonstration of surrendering it all! Not often easy to do. It takes a trust in Jesus that is willing to say, “whatever Lord. Whatever you deem best. I’m all in.”
Very inspiring.
Thanks for sharing this.
-Rachel (moments of hope link up) 😉
Hi Rachel!
It was indeed a powerful story to be able to watch unfold and one I am still impacted by 20 years later. I am so glad you were blessed! This 4 part series that finished with this seems to have touched a number of hearts in very special ways and I know that would deeply bless Linda!
Blessings and love💕
Hi Pam,
I love this post. Your insight and the way you express it is powerful. Also your sharing Linda’s journal is precious. Her perspective reminds me of Corrie tenBoom – one of my all time favorites. What a blessing that you shared. Can you direct me to the other posts in this series? Thanks!
Ah, yes, Corrie is a great example of one who faced adversity and trial with a confidence in the Lord who gave her the courage only He could give! The other posts started on October 23, 25, and 27. You can find them on my website http://www.pamecrement.com. Stop by any time!💕
Thank you Pam. The posts are a beautiful gift from a beautiful lady and a precious friend. Thanks for sharing them.
Thanks for your encouragement and interest!💕
This is so touching and real. We aren’t really in control anyway, so why pretend?
Is this from a published book?
I am back from Maine and would love to meet you for catch-up and friendship- perhaps to celebrate your birthday. Whenever you can, let me know some possible dates and times.
Thanks so much, my friend! No, it is not published in a book at this point. It was all from her final journal given to me after she died with permission to use it as I felt led.
So glad to hear you’re back. I will text you some dates/options that work for me.
Love and hugs💕